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Off topic: Completely frivolous thread
Thread poster: Tom in London
Christopher Schröder
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I cannot believe it Jan 6, 2021

There’s just too much in the Bible that beggars belief.

I mean, what are the odds of Jesus having been born on Christmas Day of all days?


Mervyn Henderson (X)
Thomas T. Frost
expressisverbis
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Tom in London
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Antioch Jan 6, 2021

Chris S wrote:

There’s just too much in the Bible that beggars belief.



That's because the Bible, which many believe to be "the Word of God" is actually a compendium of many documents of different provenance, some of them contradicting each other, that were cobbled together at the Council of Antioch in a desperate attempt by the Roman Emperor Constantine to stop the squabbling and get all the Jesus-worshipping cults to unite.

Which (as we know) didn't work anyway.

[Edited at 2021-01-06 10:55 GMT]


Thomas T. Frost
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Not Jan 6, 2021

Chris S wrote:

I mean, what are the odds of Jesus having been born on Christmas Day of all days?


Just read Matthew and Luke. Two different bithdates, two different stories. He can't be borne twice.


Tom in London
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Christopher Schröder
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Tom in London
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Even more amazing Jan 6, 2021

Chris S wrote:

I mean, what are the odds of Jesus having been born on Christmas Day of all days?


What were the odds of his birthday being so close to the Winter Solstice? It's enough to get people confused about the rebirth of the year (which is miraculous).


P.L.F. Persio
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Miracles Jan 6, 2021

Tom in London wrote:

Chris S wrote:

I mean, what are the odds of Jesus having been born on Christmas Day of all days?


What were the odds of his birthday being so close to the Winter Solstice? It's enough to get people confused about the rebirth of the year (which is miraculous).


To keep it short, the 25th of December is an invention of the 4th century AD, based on pagan believes/traditions. Furthermore, he was probably born in another month.

What I find miraculous, the 3 wise men who came from the east, following a star at eastern sky. That they didn't end up in China is a real miracle.

[Edited at 2021-01-06 11:34 GMT]


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Mysterious ways Jan 6, 2021

As my Sunday School teacher used to say when I expressed my doubts, "but, you see, if we understood it all, then we'd be God too." Which is a good kind of catch-all shutter-up. Mystery. Of course. If it were something we could all work out for usselves with a slide rule and a protractor on a jotter behind the bike shed, well, where's all the mystical mystery?

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Christopher Schröder
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? Jan 7, 2021

I'm bored and I feel like writing something but I just can't think of anything. Even the neighbours are providing no inspiration. I've got my telescope zeroed in on Charlotte Church and Katherine Jenkins' place over the road as usual, but they've pulled the curtains. Spoilsports.

I suppose I could draw inspiration from the Mervynator and talk fine cuisine.

This evening's feast chez Family S will be Lenny Pie. This is a traditional Norfolk dish (consumed on the rare days
... See more
I'm bored and I feel like writing something but I just can't think of anything. Even the neighbours are providing no inspiration. I've got my telescope zeroed in on Charlotte Church and Katherine Jenkins' place over the road as usual, but they've pulled the curtains. Spoilsports.

I suppose I could draw inspiration from the Mervynator and talk fine cuisine.

This evening's feast chez Family S will be Lenny Pie. This is a traditional Norfolk dish (consumed on the rare days they don't have turkey) which was perfected by my Uncle Lenny back in the 1980s.

He wasn't a Michelin-starred chef. He wasn't really my uncle either. Strictly speaking he was my mother's boyfriend's uncle. He was what they call a good ol' Naarfuck boy, from over Dereham way, which is proper redneck country even by Norfolk standards. Which means that you could barely understand a word of what he said. And that was when he had his teeth in.

I should add for the furriners here (that's everyone from outside Norfolk) that Norfolk is a notoriously rural part of England. All combine harvesters and marrying your sister. I'm proud to have continued that tradition.

Anyway, Lenny Pie is unlikely to catch on in Basqueville as it doesn't contain fish. Or hounds. But it was one of only two dishes Lenny ever ate other than during the runner bean season, when he would just eat a plate of beans.

Simply butter a casserole dish and fill it with alternate layers of thickly sliced potato, thickly sliced onion, thickly sliced cheddar cheese and plenty of black pepper.

Put the lid on and leave it in the oven at a middling temperature until it's done. It's not an exact science, but 200°C for 90-120 minutes should do it.

Best served with lots of frozen peas. Well, I say frozen. I mean peas that were frozen until you cooked them.

Proper peasant fare, but the caramelised bits around the edge of the dish are to die for.



[Edited at 2021-01-07 17:55 GMT]
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..... Jan 7, 2021

Chris S wrote:
and marrying your sister

Seems more like Fakenham.😝
But, nice dish, natheless!


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expressisverbis
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Something to amuse Jan 7, 2021

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library.
He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my quest
... See more
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library.
He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”

Because jokes can help us to master a language too...

Mastering-a-language-1
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Christopher Schröder
Thomas T. Frost
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Christopher Schröder
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Libraries Jan 7, 2021

Reminds me of a news item yesterday:

South Wales Police have raided a house behind the library in Llanelli and found drugs with a street value of £14 million, four AK-47s and two hand grenades.

Local resident Caryl Jones said she was in a state of shock. She said she never knew Llanelli had a library.


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Lenny Pie Jan 7, 2021

Like I've said before, Chris, sometimes I'd swear you're making these things up!

You and I and everyone all know his name wasn't Lenny. Denny, maybe. Like the sausages. Ding-dong Denny. Don't hold out on us now, boyo.


expressisverbis
 
Thomas T. Frost
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Preposition Jan 7, 2021

expressisverbis wrote:

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library.
He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”



Thankfully it is allowed to end a sentence with a proposition. 😊


expressisverbis
Christopher Schröder
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Christopher Schröder
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Dishy Jan 7, 2021

Sadek_A wrote:

Chris S wrote:
and marrying your sister

Seems more like Fakenham.😝
But, nice dish, natheless!


Yeah, my sister is quite a dish. Or is that my wife is quite a dish?

What takes priority when you marry your sister? Do you introduce her as your sister or as your wife? Not sure of the etiquette there.


Sadek_A
 
Christopher Schröder
Christopher Schröder
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Troo noos Jan 7, 2021

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

Like I've said before, Chris, sometimes I'd swear you're making these things up!


The one thing you must never, ever do is try to make Lenny Pie with thinly sliced potatoes. Put that effing mandolin away. It is not Rösti. We are not Continentals. Especially not now. We are British and proud to be Great. Put the cream back in the fridge, and do not even think of using the g-word.

The ban on imports of those tiny stinking French onion-like things, the final sticking point in those nail-biting last-gasp Brexit talks, was nothing short of a culinary and olfactory triumph for our crack negotiating team. Finally we can talk very loudly and very slowly to lazy foreigners who can’t be bothered to master our language without fear of asphyxiating them.


Mervyn Henderson (X)
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Sadek_A
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..... Jan 7, 2021

Chris S wrote:
What takes priority when you marry your sister? Do you introduce her as your sister or as your wife?

You just say it's your sister bride; hoping that people, without any further inquiry, will, in their heads, process the options:
🤔🤔🤔💡
- His sister that is a bride.
- The bride of his lesbian sister.
- A worshipper sister that is just smitten with the Kavorka that is Kramer him.
- A bride that he snagged on the way home, who happens to be someone's sister (they're searching for her now, door to door).

And, do NOT answer any questions if asked! That's important! You just distract them with the Lenny Pie!

Finally, just be thankful Dereham isn't big on marrying brothers!


 
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